D3 body, D1 cock
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
