I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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