I looked at my own cervix.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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