once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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