dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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