You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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