Got a toothbrush?
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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