it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
