she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
