is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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