afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
