I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
