Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
You need Xanax blowdarts
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize