I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
