This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
