Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
