So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
But we have bathrooms and they dont
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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