he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
