This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I should be sponsored by Trojan
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
