dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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