i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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