About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
