Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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