I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize