I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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