I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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