You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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