Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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