i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
