If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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