just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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