Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
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