Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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