Porn is love you can see.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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