I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Randomize