we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
