that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
