what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
