Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
