i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize