Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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