my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
