Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
