Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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