Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize