I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
last night I used snow as a chaser
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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