take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
