In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
