His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Farmville is her only friend.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
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