I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
