so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
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