I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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