Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
