I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
