Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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