I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
