i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
