im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
