By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
We have started to decorate penises.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
