i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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