Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
