im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
