make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
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